10 meaningless phrases used by football commentators

1. He knows where the goal is
2. He didn't even need to think
3. It's just like the Alamo; I wonder what the outcome will be
4. He's got two feet: that's what sets him apart from the others
5. This is literally going to be a fight to the death
6. He doesn't score ordinary goals does he?
7. They don't know when they're beaten, even after the final whistle
8. They're a wise lot here; they know the meaning of the word 'football'
9. He'd have taken the draw before they started losing
10. It's a real flat cap and Bovril kind of ground

10 things that used to be good about winter (written by a fifty-something)

1. Christmas surprises
2. Holly Willoughby
3. Snowmen with carrots as noses
4. Hot Pot
5. Cracking ice puddles
6. My birthday party
7. Junivite
8. Hiding behind a balaclava
9. School closures
10. Cadbury's Drinking Chocolate

Why it might be a good thing that Colonel Gaddafi died

1. We no longer have to remember if you spell his name with two 'd's' or two 'f's
   
2. No need now for in-tents negotiations
   
3. The Libyan people seem much happier despite never having won the World cup at either football or rugby
   
4. Tony Blair's's middle-east peace initiative will be remembered as a self-indulgent failure every bit as much as his military campaigns
   
5. Thousands of Libyans can now live without the fear of death or serious injury from bullets falling from the sky - launched by victorious rebels
   
6. Kernel Gaddafi (he's a nutter) will no longer work as one of my Dad's little jokes
   
7. We won't have to cry so often over TV footage of that police helmet sitting on the pavement outside the Libyan Embassy during the siege
   
8. Camel might make a comeback - possibly on the Johnnie Walker show
   
9. Ronald Reagan supporters will seek funding for a new statue or library as a thanks to his bombing of Tripoli ending Gaddafi's reign - alzheimers does this
   
10. Liberian tanker captains will no longer have to explain that they are from a different part of Africa, hastily drawing sketch maps on the dusty tops of oil drums